'....my Glory was I had such friends'

IndiSpire #62

Hi-fives to true friendship!

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh 

“Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . ."”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves  

I just smiled when I read these two quotes. They actually sum up what real friendship is. When you have complete trust in each other, when you know that s/he will always be there for you, that is the foundation of true friendship. And when you get positive vibes from the other person, when your frequencies match, when you share the same wavelength, that is the beginning of true friendship.

Does it matter whether you have friends of the same sex or the opposite sex?
No.

True friends are just that - true friends.
Gender, race, caste, status - nothing matters in true frienship.

Is it possible to have friends of the opposite sex?
Well, why not? After all, all it takes is two willing hearts joined together by a bond that in unbreakable, that is pure and platonic.

Does our society encourage such bonds?
NO. Sadly, this is the reason why we often see best friends of the same sex flocking together.

Remember the time when we were kids? Did it matter then who we played with? Boy or girl? Did our parents or the society reprimand us if we played with the opposite sex? No, they just didn't care.

But then we grew up. We started internalizing the norms of the society. Boys vs. Girls became the funda of life.

Our mind, our mentalities, our thoughts - they all became social constructs. We acted just the way our surroundings attuned us. We internalized the stereotypes.

The culture that we are all a part of always views friendship of the opposite sex with doubt and mistrust. Suspicious glances and watchful eyes try to tarnish the purity of such relationships.

Should we care about such unwanted, leery gazes? I guess not. A pure heart knows no fear.

As for the 'need' for friends of the opposite sex, I feel that what we all need is trustworthy and dependable friends.

Nothing else matters.

Let us all be blessed with true friends. Let us all be true friends. So that when we reach our twilight years, we all can say like Yeats," ....my glory was I had such friends".


[Do share your thoughts on the post. Also, if you can, please spare some time to read a short story on friendship I wrote earlier. Click here]

[A village in Rajasthan did away with opium altogether and replaced it with Jaggery! Read more here]

Status - Husband working from home

I called my friend twice yesterday but she didn't answer. Today she called back cribbing, "He was working from home again. My life comes to a halt when he does that. I would love it if it was an 'off' day but working from home is such a pain." I smiled. I had been wishing that my husband be at home at least once since he had been super busy for more than a month, even on weekends. I would have stepped forward and embraced 'work from home'. But I could understand what my friend meant when she complained that her life stops when hubby is working from home. Something like this happens:

The phone is hijacked. 
The laptop is kidnapped.
TV shows only news or cricket or sci-fi or action film......Hubby asks you to sit and watch with him. You despise that show but you sit so hubby is happy. Maybe, just for a few minutes.....But oh shucks....you left the burner on and milk is boiling and is ready to spill over....You rush....Phew...just in time.....If only he had not asked you to sit.....
Kids are supposed to be muted or shoved in the bedroom with poor wifey who will entertain them there as long as the working hubby is on a conference-call. It is difficult because kids somehow sense it and manage to burst into explosive laughter or unmanageable fights resulting in subdued screams of STOP THAT NOISE....PAPA IS TALKING ON THE PHONE.....
The kitchen is always busy. Hubby is hungry or thirsty or wants green tea. He has just a few minutes to spare. You hurry trying to cook food faster than the stove. It is another story that when the food is ready to be served, he gets back to work or is busy on phone. Hunger and thirst go out the window. Things that are supposed to be served hot turn cold and vice versa. 
Wife who is not hungry all the time suddenly starts feeling the pangs of  hunger but she waits. She waits a little longer but then she fumes and starts eating. The moment she sits down, hubby comes and says, 'My plate...' AGHHHHHHHH......Wife gets up, serves food, sits and starts eating. 'Work status' looming large....
Kids want a printout just at the time Papa is working. Mama says that laptop is not free. A little tsunami happens. "Papa is always working on the laptop. And when I want to play games, you say that it's not good for eyes....HUH.....NOT FAIR....." That's my son....
The little one realizes that the fight is over the coveted laptop. She joins in and chimes...'gummy bear song.....papa.....gummy bear.....?' She holds Papa's hands and tries to stop him from doing his work which irks him and he shrugs. He has to give in this time.
Work from home starts much early in the morning and goes on even after the office working hours. Wife gets grumpy, hubby gets even grumpier. 'This is important. It has to be done today itself.' He says. 'But you don't do so much when you go to office. Then why at home, these long extended hours...? Wife asks. 'It is so difficult to work from home with all the noise, and distractions....and kids....Don't you understand....?' He goes on....Wife stomps her feet and grumbles..."HUH....NOT FAIR....."

So, yes I understand why my friend turns grouchy when her husband is home....oops....I mean when her husband is 'working from home'. And next time if your friend does not answer or return your all, you will know why. Happy Working from Home Friends.....

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