She is a Woman

Image Source here

She loves to elaborate

She is a woman

No monosyllables for her

She revels in details...

A smile might suffice some days

But she needs an extra something sometime

She is a woman.

Many have cursed her, branded her

She is a temptress, a seductress

She is the cause of Fall

The reason of Original Sin

What had she wanted?

Was she the only one who had wanted?

Why did they question only her?

On her head is the burden of sin

In her heart a throbbing pain

Pain of love

Pain that gives her grief and joy

She likes it

She knows not why

She is an enigma not just to others

but to herself too.

She is a woman.

She has fought many battles.

She still fights.

She fights for her dignity.

For her rights.

She fights to exist

She fights to live.

She has an infinite fountain of love within her

waiting to burst out

It lies restrained

Like energy that is within reach yet wasted

Only because it is unnoticed.

Let her open up.

Stop her not. 

Bind her not.

She is born to be free.

She is a woman.

In her dances Creation itself

In her sings Creativity

In her glows the spark of life

In her the serene ocean hides.

Let her flow

Let her fly

Let her....Let her...Let her....

She is a woman.

Written for B-A-R

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Without Empathy, can there be Equality?

Linking to IndiSpire #85

The ability to identify one with the 'other' and becoming one with his/her pain is true Empathy. Image Source here

What does a woman need - equality or empathy? The question really set me thinking as it is so valid in the present day scenario. It made me think of the entire discourse surrounding womanhood. It made me think of religion and of cultural standards setup in a civilized society. And it also reminded me of the 'construction' of the female in response to an already available 'male' principle. Simone de Beauvoir, the leading French feminist, had argued in her seminal book, The Second Sex, that woman came into being only in relation to the male, and that man became the 'Absolute' while woman became the 'Other'. In her cogently argued analysis, she rightly pointed out that 'humanity is male'. 

Beauvoir's point is so crucial in view of the question on equality and empathy. What is empathy? Empathy is a state of mind where one can psychologically identify with the feelings and thoughts of the other. Ronald E Riggio, in an essay on Empathy (which you can read here) describes psychologist Mark Davis's understanding of three different types of empathy - 

a) Pespective-taking Emapthy - It is the ability to think of the other's feelings and to be able to understand what the other person's point of view is. It is kind of receptive and observant in nature.

b) Personal Distress Empathy - This springs from one's own pain and helps him/her identify with the other's sorrows.

c) Empathic Concern - This kind of feeling is actually the true ability to not only feel the pain of the other, but to be also able to identify with it and act upon it in order to rectify it. This is affirmative, engaged, and committed. It strives to 'perform' in a positive manner whereas the other two exist in thoughts and the second one is disabling in its nature.

An understanding of these kinds of empathy again leads us to the question of women.

As far I have understood the concept, I feel that without empathy or 'Empathic Concern', equality for women is a distant dream. Keeping in mind the idea of the 'second sex', and the lack of empathy on the part of society at large, one can clearly comprehend the state of affairs. To be able to be put on the same pedestal as men, women first need a deeper understanding of their identities and their unique selves. Only then can equality be possible. But then again even women need to feel one with their true inner beings because they too have been attuned to societal norms and expectations. When they become 'subject-effects' (and here I am reminded of Gayatri Spivak's Can the Subaltern Speak?), i.e., when they speak from a standpoint where they have modeled themselves on normative behaviors, it becomes impossible for them to advocate their cause. They too need to break free from those shackles if they want to be honest to their cause.

What do you think of my argument here?

Do share your thoughts!