Friday, July 3, 2015

True Love

I still remember the time I was a child
Born to well-educated parents
Well-educated, thus well-institutionalized
They gave me the best academically, socially, financially
No complaints to them…
They did not know anything about the 'third gender'
They did not know what being 'straight' or not 'straight' was about
They did not know homosexuality
 They did not feel homo-claustrophobia
Being heterosexuals
Being ‘normal’
They just knew what they had been taught
They just knew that man married woman
That was how it always was
Law of nature…
With good intentions, they passed it on to me
School over, college began
New thoughts sprung up
New books, new authors, new discoveries made
When Auden knocked the door of my mind
His poems sensitized me to the ‘other’ voices
Discovery of violence, injustice, subjugation
Left me in a state of shock
‘Boys don’t cry’ made me cry
As I watched the horrors perpetrated
Just because s/he was different
Why was the ‘dominant’ the ‘normal’ thing
Why was being ‘different’ a crime
As my mind opened up to new realities
I shared them with my mom
Her heart was ‘sensitized’ too
I passed on my knowledge to her
As she had passed on to me
New realizations led to new enlightenment
I sit today and write
Knowing not how and what my children will grow up to be
Being sure about one thing
They will not be burdened by stereotyped identities
They will not live as social ‘constructs’
I give them freedom to choose
Let their orientations
Lead them to true love
Let their path be free from rigidities
Let them live out of the closet
With dignity and respect
Without interrogative disrespect
Yes we all are human
Only if we are compassionate
Only if we understand
Nothing else matters….
Let all live a life they deserve as humans
Let all live with affection
With freedom

With true love.


  1. The need for not being burdened by gender stereotypes is very sensitively portrayed in your poem.

  2. That's the most important live a life of compassion, affection and freedom. So truly said.
    I especially loved these lines: "Why was the ‘dominant’ the ‘normal’ thing
    Why was being ‘different’ a crime"
    A beautiful poem, Sunaina. You did perfect justice to this topic of Indispire.

    1. The topic is very close to my heart Purba as I have seen myself changing...I have seem myself erring in my judgement and then thankfully, that has changed.

  3. Easily said that done dear. Many people are too soaked in jealously these days, i have innumerable examples even from blogging universe.

    If you can teach these wise-thoughts to your kids and they follow them their entire life, they will be like Saints...i wish they are :)

    1. This is not about jealousy Alok. This is about coming out of your comfort zone so that you can see what it means to be different. We are not saints. No-one is. But we can try to live by certain ideals. We can try to pass those ideals on to the next generation. These things are tough to do. As I mention in the poem, my parents did not teach what it meant to be 'gay'. My father passed away before I could have any discussion on this as an informed person. But I did have conversations with mom. Things change, times change, people change. We need to believe in that.

    2. My point was first we have to be humans and keep an open mind, only then somebody can teach us something.
      And, if we are jealous of others, how will we pass those ideas to others? No way...

  4. I agree with Purba, Sunaina... its lovely and perfect justice to the topic. Happy to see you back :-)

  5. Beautifully penned Sunaina :) Cheers!

  6. Compassion and love..need of the've very artistically chosen your words to bring out this wonderful piece... :-)

    1. Thanks Maniparana.....the topic is so sensitive and it ought to be dealt that way....just tried my best.....

  7. Only if we are compassionate, Only if we understand, nothing else matters - Wonderfully said!

    1. Hey Roji....good to see you here......Yes, compassion is the call of the day.....Thanks!

  8. What we think as children 'coming out' and expressing their opinion about their sexual orientation; is actually a socially constructed experiment to convert normal children into 'gays and lesbians.

    Pl read this study and the psychological researches mentioned therein..


    1. Do you really think that way Partha? When you talk of 'socially constructed', you ought to dwell deeper in the idea. Our identities are 'constructed' by the ideologies that penetrate the social layers. We act as per norms because they are considered and labelled 'normal'. But when one tries to manipulate with one's sexual orientation, then repression occurs. That has happened with homosexual people and that is the reson they have not been able to come out in open. It is not any 'experiment', for God's sake. It is their 'natural' bent of mind. People fail to see that.

  9. Hi Sunaina

    You dealt a sensitive issue very beautifully. Each line has an inherent meaning. You rightly defined the term, ‘Humanity.’

    Krishna said in Geeta about Swah-Dharma, which means RIGHT according to Oneself. He could have talked about Vishwa-Dharma – Universal Right, but he didn’t. There could not be any universal definition of right. What appear right to you may appear wrong to somebody else. Same is the case with Sexual Orientation. True Love is about IDENTIFYING Yourself.

    Liked your wide & deep perspective on True Love. :)

    1. That's is a wonderful point Ravish. The idea of swah-dharma is interesting in this context. Thanks for mentioning it here. I will definitely read on this.Self-identification, outside the 'constructs' of social fabric is crucial here.

  10. Compassion and love..need of the'we very artistically chosen your words to bring out this wonderful piece... :-)

    1. Thanks SelfDrive Trips. I am happy you liked it.

  11. Beautifully written Sunaina ....bringing out the human side rather then any other ..